I remember there was years in my teenager tht I suffered so much...I've lived in an environment tht totally not condusif 2 grow up..My father with his attitude problem, my brother with his attitude & family problem ( They live with us ), financial problem, my health problem, my other brother's problem & lot more..I'd remember how much I hate my life at tht time so so much..I can stand the rest but the one tht I'd remember the most is my father's attitude problem..At tht time , he just cant stop talking ( He still do it now )about everything..The small to the big thing, the present as well as the past, our family and other people...kind of prejudice 2 other then himself...Just cant stop complaining and the one tht suffered the most is my mother ( and me ). Of course its bring no harm physically but emotionally & mentally, I'd suffered a lot..I'd remember now how I hate it so much in my house & if I think tht time, if there's a place tht I can go, then I will go gladly....I hate all the complaining , all the harsh words..I just want a peace life
Now, it's starts all over again. The thing tht I hate the most...A non-stop talking person is living near me..Now I remembered why I didnt want a roomate, thts becoz I want 2 live a peace life without wasting my life thinking bout the other person's feeling or attitude. But I've got to tell you, this person bring back all my memory as well as the pain to me...
The worst part is, with all the pain & complaining I cant pay it back..Maybe I still trying to be "The gud person"..I hate myself for tht..I just cant talk back to her..I think tht if I do it, she will get hurt or worse, talk bad bout me 2 our friend..But I just cant do it..I really hate myself for tht..please give me a peace life, I just want to live my life..Ya Allah berilah kekuatan, kesabaran dan ketabahan kepada ku dalam menghadapi cabaran hidup. Moga Engkau memberi ketenangan jiwa kepada ku.
AMIN
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